Where can i start? For my heart is empty again. Barren, like the blue sky above, soon to be riddled with storm clouds. Dry and unmerciful, like the desert's sudden winds. Cold as the poles of the planet, unable to love or bear warmth. Ever again.
And without knowing it, i have already written. The words flow like a stream that blesses the cursed ground Upon which it glides, sweeping away the sins. Just for a time. Until the sun burns the moisture And the pain is renewed.
Why? Why so much enforced melancholy? Is it enforced? Or does it come as naturally as a confined geyser. Burning the air as it erupts. Scorching the essence of existence.
I want to love. To embrace it with my dying heart. But i find i am unable to. Too much pain. Not worth the trouble. Or is it? Is love that worth it? is pain a small price to pay for It's seemingly unending light?
To some perhaps. But not to me. Love has failed me. Or I it. either way, I gave up on it a long time ago. Melting it in the fires Of my hatred's passage. Igniting it in my passionate destruction
Of self and soul.
My scars tell my tales. Read them if you can.
Romulus Demonicus
Sunday, April 27, 2008
11:01 PM
Lines. Across from side to side. Straight. From top to bottom. Some thin, some thick. It's hard to say whats what.
So much confusion i feel these days. Not everything is as straight as it seems. Not vertical, Nor horizontal.
No. There is the grey matter. The in-between. The forty-five degree line.
Smack in the middle of no where.
Romulus Demonicus
At this very moment, reclining in my chair. With possibilities at my fingertips, I choose you. Again. Once more. To be the essence of my creation. The meaning behind the choice. My reason. Of all things beautiful and good. Things that i love.
I've closed my eyes. Dreaming of the times, When we were close by. I could feel your presence, Like a caress on the soul itself. Gentle. Yet permeating. The epitome of all i hold dear, Of the life i chafed at for so long. The love i briefly found in pain.
Now i have it. It is mine to hold, for a while. Your essence locked in memory, Where Time's touch is nulled. I let it go. Freeing it of the confines i have set. Allowing it to fill me up, to the brim. Filling with the emotions i have locked away, Away. From sight and sun.
This is what happens, when i sit to create. Words that merge and join, Twirling in an eternal dance of Unlimited meaning. Meaning that can twist the mind, Whilst offering a balm to the soul at the same time. My thoughts into physical form, With you in between.
The purpose of this, i know not. This idle collection of stanzas and phrases. What does it mean to do? The answer is not clear to me, As i pine in your absence, Like a dejected pet. All i am aware of,
Is how suspended i am Without you.
I will Whine no more.
Romulus Demonicus
Thursday, April 24, 2008
9:33 PM
I wish to speak. To hear my voice form the words i've long forgotten. But i cannot. i am stricken dumb by time.
I wish you to hold me. And tell me everything will be alright. Chasing my night-demons away, as well as the ones i see with my waking eyes. But I cannot. You are not here.
I wish to feel again Love as it should be felt. Like a warm fire started on the inside. Burning away the hate and anger. Till i rest in it's embrace. But I cannot. Love has gone away.
I wish to see. To view color from my own eyes. Letting visions wash over me. But i cannot. I am blinded by a silent grief that i cannot expel.
I wish to fly. On wings i never had. Feeling the rush of wind and the glory of sheer flight. But I cannot. Confined to lands' limit.
I wish. But it's better if i don't.
Romulus Demonicus
Sunday, April 20, 2008
12:32 AM
Lightning lights the night. Smiting the thick blanket Of swirling dreams, With a heavy hammer of explosion.
The raven stirs. From his lofty perch upon the rowan, He lifts. All in a gentle push of the wings.
He flies. In his beaks is soul. In his stomach are my dreams. And in his talons, clutched, is the love i never had.
Whither does he go? Away over the distant horizon, Lit briefly by the forks of heaven. Taking it all away from me.
I had nothing to begin with. I have nothing to end with. And it burns my empty heart to know, My life was in vain.
Oh i live still. I breathe, walk ,talk. Dwelling still in the mundane. Crawling in muck.
But the part that makes me Is no longer here. Torn and taken, Chained and condemned.
Be at peace, my soul. Away now, all my dreams! Rest easy in the Raven's care. And. My love. I never knew thee well.
No more warmth is left to me in this world. Only the cold. No more light is left to me in this world. Only the darkness.
My eyes are clouded with despair. No one will rescue me this time. No one will steal me from Fate's grasp. No one. Is there.
My friends, Where art thou? If ye hide beneath my shadow, Come hither.
But i know you are not there. No longer. Solitude, cursed Solitude, Has been laid upon my weary frame.
You made me what i am, Dear once-companions. Filling my life with hope. In laughter and joy.
Through hardship, as i yielded. It was all of you whom dragged me on. Past dirt and cold, In blood and sweat.
The smallest Spartan there ever was, And yet. A Spartan. Fighting alongside everyone else. Your reward for hard labours.
But now my blood is faded. What Spartanhood i have Has passed into the darkness, Armor for my kidnapped soul.
My friends. i Love thee. All. But that love too hast been stolen. Away into the deeps of time's void.
And to you, Unnamed. My love for you, only i know. For shame i have in fear and weakness That i never revealed it to you.
Your laughter and smile. The glint in warm eyes of deepest brown. The gentlest of touches. And yet, i was only a friend.
I'm glad my heart and soul have been forfeited. And my dreams burnt to oblivion. As it is, I can no longer grieve.
Romulus Demonicus
Saturday, April 12, 2008
4:02 PM
A Lie of Hope
I'm not in freefall anymore. No longer tumbling down the craggy Precipices of rocky self-damnation. For today, I am free!
Trapped not in a hopeless love, That captures the soul in empty promises Of an everlasting passion That would burn the world, If it could.
Loosed of the bondage That has held me so long, With words that never birthed From a once-beloved voice.
No longer holding on to foolishness, Hanging over the gorge of despair. Enduring exertion beyond limit Just for a mere breath, a prayer.
My mind, is beyond that. I stand now, on two feet, By my will. My choice. I stand alone now.
Romulus Demonicus
Friday, April 11, 2008
10:19 AM
Mid-Spring's Dystopia
It's a bright and glorious morning, Golden drops of sun lights up the dew drops.
Fire! Fire! Violence and slaughter! Swords drawn, painting the air with blood!
Highlighting the full-figured tulips, Shaken by a gentle wind from the heavens.
Screams of the dying. Slipping in gore. The flight of the blackened arrow, entombed in flesh.
It plays on the lush grasses on the hills, Whilst song-birds sing their full-throated tune.
Oath-breaker! Souls rent in two, A butchery of man-flesh. Darkness.
Rocking fragrant ferns with a gentle passion. The crumbling of glory, rotted carcassed Death, carressed.
Oh wondrous! The dawn of a new day
Romulus Demonicus
The Raven
Dark clouds boil, Spilling past the greying Skyline. Stealing the light from our gaze, Billowing from a source unseen.
Blending invisible in the dark, He soars forth from his Nest amongst the distant canopies. An angel of the dark, feeding On fear and superstitious meats.
A blade-like beak releases a Lamentant croak. Like a withered slice of wisdom Aged and broken in places, Stretching through Time and Space.
Into the distance he soars, Gliding on our hopes and dreams. A blotch on all light, A bringer of darkness enfoloding. The night cloaks his very passage.
Whither the Raven goes, Nobody knows.
Romulus Demonicus
Hope Of Peace
Running from the dark horrors of my heart, Racing away from the winged terrors Of a seemingly perpetual night. I lose myself in the dark.
Awaken! Stirred from disturbed slumber, By the glint of the Sun's rays, Through the boughs of a silver-wood, Catching, on it's descent, on golden leaves.
Beneath my grimy bodice Is grass, blessed grass! Soft to the touch of callused skin, As silk is to a grievous wound.
Imperturbed, i walk. Wondering whither it is i am, Upon what ground do i traverse? What will i find lying in wait?
In this forest of Spring, Filled with the promise Of Spring's passion.
Romulus Demonicus
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
2:13 PM
A roaring torrent from the heavens, Striking the heads of passer-bys, Who all look up to shake out fitful curses. A drenching without respite, Bombing the canopy of this grey jungle.
Yet, it's just the two of us. "Lunatics!" they shout from the curb, Under the safety of their plastic bags, Wrapped around their necks to shelter their heads. And we laugh.
Under this seeming danger, We revel. Feeling the peace of a thing not wholly of this Earth, But part and parcel of it at the same time. An angel hidden under a demonic demeanour.
And in the waning sun light, The edges of these falling pearls catches, And splits into rainbow hues, Bringing to life the stars in your eyes. And i am entrapped in them.
Enraptured together, we are.
Romulus Demonicus
Monday, April 7, 2008
9:01 PM
My Brother's pain, My eternal suffering
Your suffering was veiled from everyone's gaze. A smile that belied the pain beneath, The hardship and the scars, All of which have not wholly healed, And are beginning to fester.
Tell me friend, how i can begin to treat the wound? Should I layer it with care and a hearing ear, In hopes that it might seal? Or cauterize it with a burning decision, Inflamming the infection.
Tell me brother, how i can ease the pain? Should I bear your slack weight to give you rest On a long and arduos journey that ye should not have to bear, As you have borne mine a distant time ago? Or should i let you limp to the gallows?
Tell me kinspirit, how i can save your soul from hurt. When that hurt must come from me, A most grievous injury Done by these accursed hands that i possess. Must i die once more? So that you might live?
Oh Lord, Show me the way in this dark hour.
Romulus Demonicus
Deep we delve into the valleys of memory To uncover what Time decides to yield. A scrap of memory's face, unsullied and glowing Like the stars of an age past, Gleaming like gems in a black net. Or a multi-faceted piece of experience, The images of towering mountains And humbling land masses Locked in it's smooth, delightful planes. But most beloved of all, The Diamond amongst all rocks, A moment of friendship, Preserved in timeless minerals, Enduring when all else withers.
A smile, Like Spring bursting forth On a Winter's Morn.
Romulus Demonicus
My heart is an ocean. At times a vast peaceful entity, Rolling forth on feet of foam, Curling in ecstasy, revelling In the wind's soothing embrace.
Then there are times, It rises up. A raging behemoth crowned With lightning and a voice of thunder, Smiting the world's face with a mighty palm.
But at the end of it all, The waters settle, Licking the shore Much as a wounded dog would lick an injury. Blood borne of it's own rage.
Quick to love, Quicker to hate. Within the depths lies monsters Past mortal reckoning. Down, down in the deeps.
But likewise within these hallowed waters, Dwells forms of angel-likeness, Floating with the sea-swell, Wandering vast leagues Surpassing the feet of Man.
My heart. My soul. Beyond mine own comprehension, And yet a part of me.
Romulus Demonicus
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
2:12 PM
A dark cloud has settled in, Blown to me from under By a swift eastern wind. Thick and rancid is the stuff of it's making.
Upon the green mound where i rest, Even from afar, I am visibly perturbed by it's appearence. Tumultous depths swirling endlessly.
Like a void it seems, To my eyes. Consuming all the light of day, Leaving night in it's ghastly wake.
Under it's massive bulk lies The ocean of the East, A blue pearl of gentle nature, Like a lady of finery.
But she too is disturbed by This usurper of peace, That comes from afar To displace nature's elements.
She rages with foam And shrieks with the mouths of gulls, Showing her displeasure In more than mere utterance.
Lightning now streaks the sky, Once a mosiac of subtle blue. The fury of the sky is unleashed in full, Both in it's malice and royal stature.
And here, little one that I am. I wage a war i cannot win.
Romulus Demonicus
ravens
:) RAVENS :)
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